Cult-ivate Your Gods

Flesh Fairs and Their Many Meanings

Or How Ridiculous Can We Get?

To herald the arrival of Knight Court, everyone’s favorite medieval themed ghost busting webseries, a convention was held because the wonders of a dedicated fandom will never cease. It helps, of course, that Sin Eaters find their arrival as a convenient excuse to meet, greet, and do a whole lot of other things. A lot of other things. Mostly other things.

For simplicity, I’m going to refer to people by their geist, since I haven’t learned everyone’s character names yet. Also, it’s funnier that way.

So, Wailing Shadow and Mud Doll were there to buy untraceable and illegal weaponry, respectively, Boar Bones wanted a dress and Jyorougumo wanted a staff. Luckily, being not just a ridiculously nerdy convention but also a gathering for Sin Eaters near and far (mostly near) all things can be provided for! Well, within some semblance of reason. And so, Wailing Shadow convinced Harry Dresden to sell him some “fireworks” after hours, Mud Doll overheard the exchange and decided to bully the mostly unbullyable (but apparently not entirely) Dresden into selling her some brass knuckles. Wailing Shadow went to go investigate Dresden by persuading the hotel clerk that he was there to sexually surprise an old friend and she, being rather dim, romantic, and kinky, totally gave Wailing Shadow (pretending to be Jim Butcher) Dresden’s room number but not his key because that’s totally a breach of policy. So is giving out room numbers, but hey, he could have gotten that info from anyone. This was also our first time using the social maneuvering system and hey, it worked out OK. Whee!

Wailing Shadow goes up to scope out room 423 (and everything else for several hundred yards) using Boneyard and discovers how incredibly easy it is to get laid at a flesh fair/convention, that no, there’s nothing really interesting besides a bunch of suitcases in the room he wants, but holy crap there’s a (sleeping) vampire just across the way! He (for the moment) wisely keeps to himself and heads back down since breaking down doors to get at a sleeping tenant raises all kinds of alarms and discretion is the better part of valor. Hah, discretion.

Meanwhile! Boar Bones manages to find a lovely black saloon dress, authentic but not magical (surprising on many accounts such as: Why the hell were they selling a saloon dress at a medieval themed convention? How does something so authentic get sold at a Sin Eater gathering and not have spooky stuff attached? Why was it so cheap? But hey, it was a sweet dress, it was an excellent price and who can argue with looking that good? Boar Bones decided that the next step was to accessorize! And party. And drink. Mostly drink, and watch the misadventures of Wailing Shadow and Mud Doll as they make up for their uncouth behavior by being more uncouth and seducing the dealer for a better deal on their weapons.

Jyorougumo, meanwhile, had perhaps one of the luckiest deals of all when he managed to find a rowan staff carved with images of Genbu for thirty bucks that happened to also be a fetter. Why Rowan and why Genbu? I rolled for it. The dice determined it was not carved with images of the turtle Donatello but it was carved with images of a turtle. The dice also determined it was neither balsawood nor oak, and rowan was my next guess as I jumped around with tree names. Also, Rule of Cool. So, one awesome staff of Torn threshold, Grave Dirt key and Terrify numen to pretend is a walking stick (why is it so thick? In case someone really, really heavy needs it. Not much of a walking stick if it breaks, officer!) Jyorougumo then decided the next order of events was booze, and decided to hang out at the bar with Boar Bones while critiquing the sake and observing the other two not-yet-party-members.

So, Wailing Shadow and Mud Doll have a violent threesome with Harry Dresden where Wailing Shadow asked for (and received) a donkey punch from Mud Doll (because life is all about the experiences, and Mud Doll was a sufficiently trained martial artist to pull her punch and not kill him or hurt him more than necessary) and they each got weapons for cheap because Dresden really, really liked it. Not enough to give them his phone number or real name though. Now Mud Doll has a pair of brass knuckles that have the Torn threshold and no set key, being charms, and Wailing Shadow has to deal with not having a haunted gun. The horror, the shame.

By the time they’re all done, it was time for the rave where Mud Doll decided she needed to start a mosh pit, Wailing Shadow decided that he really wanted a krewe and Mud Doll totally had to be in it but he needed more people so bought some magically drugged sugar skulls shaped like knight helmets because theming and how else is he going to get people to make a krewe with him, Jyorougumo checks out the rave and Boar Bones ran back home to change, leaving their card behind at the bar. Luckily they returned quick enough and got their card back before the bar closed. Then they got stuck in the mosh pit that Mud Doll started, though managed to get out before they took damage, where they then began chatting with the only two people not moshing, Wailing Shadow and Jyorougumo.

After a few turns and finally winding up with a few bits of bashing damage due to being short and moshing, Mud Doll also left the impromptu mosh pit and Jyorougumo administered some first aid. How or with what, I didn’t ask, and neither did any of the rest of us because sometimes we just let rolls happen. Either way, it happened. While most of them were chatting away, Wailing Shadow decided to be an asshole to the vampire he didn’t even know who was now awake upstairs and actually chatting with the Knight Court krewe upstairs. Wailing Shadow used his Phantasmal Boneyard to make the vampire think that not only was the room on fire, but so were the people there that he had been fanboying over (discretely, because vampires are every so discrete) and trading stories (and probably other things) with. The vampire managed to (barely) maintain his composure long enough to alert them to the fact that they’re totally on fire and need to do something about it before he bid them adieu and found that everything everywhere he went was on fire. Due to the exceptional successes acquired on this roll (8, for those who care), Wailing Shadow didn’t even have to concentrate and was making notes on his phone that others saw as texting.

The other three decided that they required more booze and (followed by a still gleeful Wailing Shadow) hit up a super nice HEB (that, in review of an actual Austin map later doesn’t actually exist but my world, my rules, it totally does now) that actually carried decent sake for Jyorougumo. Purchases were made, and then they decided to hit up Boar Bones’ totally haunted apartment so they wouldn’t have to worry about public intoxication. During the trip, Wailing Shadow used Boneyard to send an angel to the vampire promising to end the nightmare in exchange for his name and purpose, which the vampire quickly and honestly tells the angel because he was desperate.

Upon arrival at Boar Bones’ apartment, booze is passed around as so are Wailing Shadow’s sugar helmets. At first, Jyorougumo is reluctant but gets peer pressured into taking one, followed by Boar Bones assuring their geist that no, this won’t affect their reputation and really, they need to experience more. They then all proceed to start tripping and when Wailing Shadow asks for a knife, Boar Bones actually gets one from the kitchen, and everyone proceeds to slice their hand open and give each other bloody high fives. Then the massive hallucinations start and a religion is born! However, they’re still tripping when they are freed from the hallucinations, weird, bizarre and yet strangely understandable as they were. They then decide they should totally demonstrate their powers, so Wailing Shadow uses Phantasmal Boneyard to create an aurora borealis on the ceiling, complete with dancing animal silhouettes. Boar Bones uses Stigmata Curse to scar a spider onto Jyorougumo’s chest (fully appreciated when the martial artist strips his shirt off.) Jyorougumo uses Passion Caul to make everybody love him (or at least endeared) and Mud Doll breaks a knife on herself thanks to her Shroud and fends off Jyorougumo’s Hadouken easily with it.

Afterward, everyone is very buddy-buddy, Mud Doll spoons Wailing Shadow on the floor, Jyorougumo curls up in a corner and Boar Bones asks Mud Doll and Wailing Shadow not to get the floor pregant before retiring downstairs to sleep.

Edit: So, since this sort of took place at the Driskill Hotel, I decided to look at their website and menu for their bar. Yowza. Also, the bar closes at 2 AM on Friday and Saturday nights and the events of Knight Con were probably on Saturday. Also, I want a Batini, official drink of Austin. Alternately, a Texas Orange Blossom. ahem Oh well, my world, my rules. Note to self: Driskill is a super swank hotel and would not actually have catered nearly as much to Knight Court as happened in the campaign. Meh.

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Kilacunae

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